From Busyness to Balance: A Mental Health Perspective on Slowing Down

by Nicole Yan, LSW

Do you ever feel overwhelmed even when everything seems fine? I often hear people say, “I’m an anxious person,” or “anxiety runs in my family.” Many share that they feel stressed, overworked, and burned out. They have difficulty relaxing and feel guilty when resting, with a constant pressure to do more. Busyness has become the norm, leaving little space to pause and reflect on whether we are actually enjoying our lives.

Distress can exist even when things look “good” externally. I have met many people who are doing well at work or school, exercise regularly, maintain good physical health, and have supportive relationships with family, partners, and friends. Intellectually, they understand that their lives are good—that they are doing their best, and that they are loved no matter what. Yet beneath this understanding, there is often a persistent undercurrent of anxiety and insecurity, along with the sense of not doing enough. 

One of the most supportive factors for mental health is the willingness and opportunity to slow down and take a pause. You may notice when you have a slow week, you feel more relaxed and happy. When there is too much work, challenge, or negative experience in life, it is easy to fall into episodes of anxiety or depression. The reality is that we cannot control what life brings. Sometimes we have more work, sometimes less. Sometimes the work environment is supportive, sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes our health is strong, and sometimes it is not. Sometimes we are doing great with family or friends, sometimes not so.

We long for stability and wish that good things remain the same. We put a lot of effort into keeping good things the way they are and strive for things to become better, which creates the driving force for busyness.

The Chinese character for “busy” is composed of two parts: the left means “heart,” and the right means “death.” In a literal sense, it suggests that busyness leads to a symbolic death of the heart. It is striking that thousands of years ago, long before modern distractions, people were naturally more attuned to nature and lived experience. They already had this innate wisdom of recognizing the shortcomings of being busy and conveyed this understanding in the process of creating characters. I often wonder when being busy became the default way of living. How can we return to a more balanced way of living, and actually enjoy whatever we are doing in the moment?

Being busy is like a hamster on a running wheel. We keep going until exhaustion brings us to a hard stop. Then at the end of life, one may ask: is this what life is all about? I spent a decade working in internet business doing sales and marketing, where I experienced constant pressure and a strong emphasis on efficiency, performance, and achievement. It was a rapidly changing and competitive environment. I remember that in our weekly meetings, one of my coworkers’ roles was to present updates and analysis of our competitors. We could see the rise and fall of internet companies over short periods, driven by rapid competition and price-based differentiation. Realizing that the market is always changing, we had to act fast and do the best we could. I also learned not to be overly bothered by what our competitors were doing, but rather to focus on how to improve our own product and service. I guess the ability to stay focused and reduce outside distraction helped me survive and thrive for many years in the industry.

Over time, however, this pace came at a cost. Eventually, life circumstances, chronic stress, and the yearning to find a deeper purpose in life led me to leave my corporate job and move toward mental health and spirituality. It was a huge transition, with a long pause of not holding a full-time job and returning to school. My days are still full, but I have learned to simplify my life intentionally—prioritizing what is important to me and reducing unnecessary activities. One small but meaningful shift has been in language. I try not to say “I’m busy.” Instead, I say, “I’m working on a project,” or I simply share what I am doing. Saying I am “busy” feels like closing a door to connection. Saying what I am doing feels more like sharing a part of my life. I can still say no to many things, but I am honest with others about my focus in life. 

I prioritize time for self-care each day, mainly meditation and various types of exercise, and attend meditation retreats a few times a year, basically being comfortable with spending time doing nothing. The result of this shift is that I rarely feel anxious about things and have generally positive feelings toward others. Old negative patterns still arise from time to time, but I am able to catch them quickly and do not get stuck in them anymore. When life slows down, the mind naturally attunes to an intrinsic inner balance. I become more comfortable with being who I am.

A friend of mine who was diagnosed with breast cancer last year shared that after facing the illness she stopped worrying about things. She no longer complained about her husband, and she stepped back from closely managing her son’s college application process. Surprisingly, their relationships improved. Her husband felt more at ease, and her son became more independent and capable, and got into a good college. She also made significant changes to her life—reducing her workload and focusing on her health. She began writing a blog about her experiences, and I found myself drawn to her reflections on simple moments—appreciating a meal, resting, going for walks, enjoying nature and sunshine, spending time with family, and traveling. She also shared her observation and empathy for other patients’ difficulty and pain, which she witnesses very often during her hospital visits. I felt really happy for her insight while going through such a difficult process, as she is accepting suffering with peace and openness, rooted in a full commitment to experiencing life as fully as possible.

Most people understand the importance of self-care and slowing down, but lack the action or consistency to do it. When stressful moments come, it is easy to fall back into an anxious pattern. Self-care functions much like physical exercise—its benefits depend on consistency. If we exercise regularly, we naturally feel better in body and mind. Exercise helps reduce tension in the head and brings energy down into the body. In the same manner, if we offer care to ourselves regularly, inner balance will be less affected by external changes. Self-care with consistency is the key to a healthy and stable mind. 

Self-care involves slowing down, allowing the mind to rest, and engaging in activities that are relaxing and bring the body and mind together. This may include yoga, meditation, time in nature, exercise, or creative practices such as art. Self-care can start with small baby steps, such as scheduling one intentional break daily or taking a regular 5-minute pause from work to notice the breath, do a quick body scan, or practice mindful walking by paying attention to the soles of the feet.

Self-care is about making friends with ourselves and connecting with our inner goodness. We begin to realize that there is no need to strive to do more than we are already doing. For a very long time, we have been so used to filling our lives with tasks and projects, as if constant activity is the only way to feel productive or fulfilled. In doing so, we forget a simple truth: we are already perfectly the way we are. Slowing down can be a therapeutic process that creates space to explore and reflect on patterns of busyness and anxiety, and to return to a more balanced state. It helps us turn inward, where we can reconnect with ourselves and recognize that we are enough.